I’ve wanted to write a post about my personal experiences of raising a baby, but I was afraid.
Afraid that someone would tell me how great I have it that my baby sleeps through the night…most nights.
Afraid that I’d get a comment about how grateful I should be that my son naps and that I should quit complaining that I feel trapped in my home because he only naps in his crib.
Afraid that someone will tell me that I’m damaging my child because we have a schedule.
Afraid that others will tell me that I shouldn’t complain that I can’t go to a friend’s adult-only birthday party, or have a date night with my husband because my baby won’t take a bottle. At least I can breastfeed!
Afraid that the Mommy Wars would take over my peaceful blog, my place of solace, my place of fun, my place that I write the words that are on my mind. The fear of being told I was a bad mom and getting dragged into the War stopped me.
Then I realized…
The baby stage is hard….Really hard. Us moms of babies are always wishing that something were better. Wishing we could breastfeed, wishing our baby slept better, wishing they ate better, wishing they cried less. We wish that we had more freedom, more personal space, more time to take a shower.
We are looking to vent, looking for comfort, looking for someone, anyone to tell us that the baby stage just sucks sometimes. Instead of providing comfort, we put down those who do get those things that we wish for.
Everyone tells us to enjoy these days. Enjoy their babyhood, it goes by so fast.
Truthfully, it is full of wonderfulness. Babies are so soft, sweet, and cute. They are always learning and discovering. Nothing is better than the first time your baby sits, crawls, walks, babble and then talks. It’s beautiful.
But, I’m here to tell you that the first year kinda sucks too.
We are all trying to figure out these little beings who can’t talk and are not great at communicating their needs all the time.
Who knows why a baby wakes up in the night screaming or is fussy all afternoon? Maybe their hungry, maybe it’s teething pain, maybe they are sick, maybe they’re too cold, too hot. The list goes on and on.
Once you think you get it and things are going great, they change all over again. These little humans keep us on our toes. We’re tired, weary, and covered in spit up. It’s brutal.
I don’t know if you read Glennon Melton’s blog, Momastery, but she writes about how being a mom is brutiful. It’s beautiful and brutal all at the same time. That is exactly how the baby stage is.
I get frustrated sometimes. Then I turn around and see his big gummy grin and I am so happy that I get to be his Mama. I get to see this little child grow, learn, and find his way. It’s amazing, and such a privilege.
But, I’m tired.
I can’t change my baby or this stage that I’m in, but I can change the way I treat other Moms of babies. I don’t participate in the Mommy Wars, I stay silent. I’m tired of being silent. What we all need during this brutiful time is support. We need love, comfort, and more than anything, we need to know that we’re not alone.