Today I sat and knit….instead of cleaning the house, instead of marking things off my to do list, instead of playing with my child. I actually told him “Mommy is choosing to sit and knit, I will play with you in 10 minutes”. You know what? I didn’t feel a smidge of guilt.
You see. It was one of those days. I had a rough night of sleep the night before so I wasn’t at my best. It was one of those days where my bad mood had caused my son’s bad mood. The day seemed gray and, I was just not coping well.
So, I needed to reset. I needed time, and I needed to do something that brings me peace…which is knitting. I gave J some toys to play with that I knew would keep his attention. He played quietly next to me…mostly. He did ask for me to play, but I needed to knit. For those few minutes, I put myself first.
After 10 minutes, my mood was better and I could cope and be a better Mom until naptime when I could (and did) take a nap.
One of the things I learned during my time as a Mental Health Therapist, is the importance of self care. Especially for those who spend their days taking care of others. I’m not just talking about making sure you shower, eat, and sleep enough. I’m talking about taking care of yourself emotionally.
Think of it this way. Everyone has a glass of water that is full IF all those basic needs and emotional needs are met. Every time you put someone else’s needs first (like your family’s), you loose a bit more water out of your glass. Sometimes we give and give and give until our glass is empty.
Then, when we are empty, we have nothing left to give. And we feel it, you may feel anger or sadness. You may feel resentful towards others who ask things from you. You may jump on those who love you, and you may not make the best decisions.
You know what I’m talking about right? We’ve all felt that way!
As parents, it’s our job to take care of our children and to make sure their needs are met. But what about us? What about our needs? It is so important to make sure that as parents our basic needs are met too. Not only do we need sleep, food, and drink. Our soul needs some support too.
So, what is it that brings you peace? What makes you happy?
Is it:
- cooking
- photography
- crafting
- reading
- being outside
Find your thing and do it! Feed your soul. You will feel better, and you’ll be a better parent for it!
I knew on that day that my glass was empty. I had given so much and hadn’t taken the time for me. It wasn’t just the bad sleep, my glass was empty. It took only 10 minutes, but that’s all I needed in that moment. Those 10 minutes turned my day around.
So tell me. How to do you take care of yourself? Or, is this something that needs improvement in your life?
Self care is so important. Taking 10 minutes for yourself can be so helpful. My favorites vary according to the season and my mood: gardening, reading, playing piano, drumming and baking bread are my top go-to’s for myself.
I love the variety of things you enjoy! Thanks for your ideas and keep up the self care.
WONDERFUL post!!
Thanks 🙂
Someone wise once told me, “One of the best things you can do for your kids is to take care of yourself.” I’ll never forget it!
I’ve always said that, and known that. But, it wasn’t until my body was having difficulty bouncing back from a very complicated childbirth with J, that I felt how hard that was. I told the nurse to hand me J so I oculd nurse him, but my nurse told me that I had to get healthy before I could take care of my son. There it was, the first time I had to put myself before my son. I’ll never forget that moment.
I am learning that what I need to do is to spend time alone. I need quality time just with myself, which is hard when I am a mom and a part time waitress. My job, for both, is to take care of other people (and before kids, i was a teacher, also about taking care of other people…I’m sensing a pattern). I also need to make sure I disconnect from the internet, because that really isn’t rejuvenating. Better is to read or write or draw, take photographs, or maybe craft, or to concoct drinks or treats without the worry that my kids might or might not eat them.
Finding alone time is hard, but so needed! I totally agree with doing something away from the computer. It’s not all that rejuvinating for me either. You sound super busy, I hope you find the time to be alone.
You’re a wise lady! Take the nap! Many of my generation learned this lesson long after the damage was done. You girls will be better for learning early the concept of empty and full. LY
Thank you! It’s a hard concept to learn, but so worth it!
Great post! You’re so right doing something for yourself for ten mins can change your mood for the whole day, what works for me is the radio. Happy mummy makes for happy kids!
Thanks! It is amazing what 10 minutes can do!
It is so important to take care of your self physically and emotionally. Great post! I love to play soccer and have finally been able to play some pick up games while I’ve been on vacation. It has really made me happy 🙂
Oh yes! Physical activity is so important. I bet a few games of soccer can really boost the spirit!
Good article Amanda! I wish it only took me 10 min to refill my glass… Good for you only needing 10 min of therapy to regain your foot hold!
Ha! Sometimes 10 minutes is not long enough! I do find that I take a few minutes here and there a lot throughout the day. I also try really hard to have some “me time” after J’s in bed.
Agree… so agree… self care is the most important… Most times… is the easiest to forget.. I’m guilty of this all the day… Apart from business travel in June… I had no me time at all.. and going forward into Jul & Aug with kids on summer holidays… ‘me time’ looks even more unlikely…
Enjoyed your read.. more like an eye opener.. *smiles*… Thank you for linking into ‘Made with Love’… featuring you on my Facebook page today.. http://www.facebook.com/ColoursDekor
Thanks for sharing it! I’m lucky that J’s still young enough to have naptime, so I know it will be harder once he’s older. Hope you find some “you time” this summer!
Thank you for this reminder. I know that sometimes as moms it is hard not to feel guilty for wanting a moment (or a few) to yourself.
-Brittany @Play, Love, Learn
Yes, the guilt is the worst part. I’ll admit that I probably don’t take enough time for myself mainly due to the guilt of not focusing my attention on J. Ah Mommy guit…does it ever go away?
Thanks for this! I’m doing this one day soon 🙂
That is one thing I struggle to do. It is so true though. When I’m having a off day and I can realize it and take a look at the situation, that’s when I need to go take a nice soak in a bubble bath. My “Me” time. You can only give so much before you feel drained. With little ones it can be so hard to find time for yourself, especially with my husband working and going to school full time “Me” time is limited. I’ve had to get creative.
My 4.5 year old would rather not take naps any more, but I’ve had to insist on her taking naps so that I can get a hour of peace and quite to regroup. In order for me to be the kind of mom I want to be I have to have a break. And I don’t clean the house during nap time.
Wonderful post! I care for myself all day long by having my chocolate stash near by 😉 Seriously though, I think this is really important. Whenever I don’t get enough sleep or remember to feed myself, I am no good to my family and am such a grump. This is a great reminder!
Blogging feeds my soul…. and keeps me up at night ;P
It’s amazing the different a simple walk by myself can boost my mood and clear my mind. I really must make the effort to do that more often…