This morning was a rough one y’all. Really rough. It’s not even 10am and I’ve already yelled at my son twice. Not just little raising of the voice…it’s a “my throat now hurts” kind of yelling.
It all started when he spilled my hot coffee all over my computer that I bought only 2 months ago. Oh man. Anger doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings.
From there….it all went downhill. My patience for the day was spent and I turned into the frazzled, angry Mom that I don’t like to be.
Then, when I went to apologize to my son for yelling, he gives me a big slice of humble pie…like he usually does.
Me: J, I’m sorry I yelled….blah blah blah (I went through my normal spiel)
J: I don’t like it when you do that, you really scare me.
Me: Oh I don’t want to scare you, I was just really mad, but I still shouldn’t have yelled. I never want to scare you.
J: But you scare me a lot when you yell. It happens all the time!
Yet again….J’s words hit me hard. Man this kid can dish it out and make this Mama feel horrible. But really, he’s being honest and just speaking the truth.
His words really sting though, because I always swore that I would never parent through fear. I don’t want my children to act right because they fear their parents. I want them to act appropriately because they know how to make good decisions. Sure, there are consequences for bad decisions and lots of boundaries in our home, but they are not ruled by fear.
Well…I didn’t think they were.
His words have made me take a step back and really think. Is my house ruled by fear?
In all honesty, I know how to have a peaceful home, and it is peaceful a lot of the time. But, am I handling conflict and problems in a peaceful way?
It’s hard for me. I wasn’t raised in an especially peaceful home, so making a peaceful home for my kids doesn’t come naturally. I’ve taken the time to learn though, and I’m trying. I know the techniques. I know how to treat children in a peaceful way. I know how to do it. But, doing it consistently is hard.
When things are going well, I’m great! I’m a good mom, so patient, so kind.
But, when I’m not good, when my soul is not fulfilled, I fall back to bad habits, like yelling.
And lately, things have been a bit rough. I’ve been in a Mom Funk, we’ve all been sick, and this cold, snowy weather has been getting to me. So, you can say that I haven’t been at my best.
So, I’ve decided to do something big. Really big.
So big that I’m nervous about starting it and nervous about telling you about it. Because when I put it out there to you, I now have someone keeping me accountable, and I’m not sure I can do it.
Whew….here it is.
Starting today, I’m taking the challenge to not yell at my kids for a full year!
Part of this challenge is writing this post. Just putting it out there makes it real. It makes me accountable. So, I want you to all hold me accountable and help me stick to it.
It’s going to be tough though…and I’d like a little company. So, I’m challenging you too! Are you willing to join me and stop yelling at your kids? You don’t need to do a year like me, you can take the challenge for a week, a month, 6 months, it’s up to you.
I’ve made a Facebook group just for those of us willing to take the challenge. Together we can share our stories, provide support, and give each other the tools we need to stop the yelling!
As well as the group, I’ll be posting every Friday to let you know how the past week has gone. I’ll share with you the challenges, the successes, and the tools I’m using to not yell at my children.
What do you say? Are you willing to join me and stop yelling at your kids? Join the group here!
Wish me luck!
Click the pic to take the challenge!