The other day I was driving in my car by myself, no kids, no husband, just me.
The radio was off and I was sitting in silence with nothing but my thoughts.
It was wonderful.
Since becoming a Mom, I don’t have very many parts of my day that are quiet. Not very many moments at all where I’m alone. I’m so busy that I seriously don’t have time to think.
I don’t have time to let my thoughts wander. I don’t have time to take a mental breather.
So when I get them, I treasure them.
These moments are the moments that I really get to process my life.
Where am I going?
What am I doing?
What’s working?
What’s not working?
How can I improve the relationship with my husband and my children?
What parts of my life need a little tweaking?
Solitude makes me a better wife and mother. Solitude re-energizes me. Solitude helps me parent my kids better.
The problem here is how in the world does a busy parent find the time to have alone time?
Make it a priority
It’s so easy to chug along through our days and not take the time for ourselves. If we want solitude as a parent, we need to plan the time for it and to actually do it.
We need to remind ourselves that it’s important and that we are worth it and will be better parents for it. Make it a priority, or won’t happen.
Get up early or Stay up late
I am a morning person. I get up most mornings around 5:30am. This is when I usually write, but sometimes I make a hot cup of coffee, sit out on my deck and watch the sunrise. It’s the perfect way to start my day.
If you’re a night owl, stay up a few more hours and spend some time in peace.
Please don’t do both. We parent’s need our sleep (or as much of it as our children allow).
Find some help
My husband is wonderful at giving me nights off during the week so I can get out of the house by myself. We are lucky that we can do that for each other.
Sometimes we need to hire help. A mother’s helper or babysitter can be totally worth the money to give ourselves a bit of a break.
Trade off babysitting with a friend. You watch her kids one day, she watches yours another.
If you have family near by, ask them to spend some time with the kids every once in a while.
Make the Best of Your Time Alone
I highly suggest turning off your devices and step away from the online world for a while, and notice the brilliance of the day.
Take time to let your mind wander.
Here are a few of my favorite alone time activities
- Dinner by myself on an outside patio
- Taking a walk on nature trails
- Sitting at a coffee shop
- Just driving around in my car
They are simple, and they give me time to think and to process things.
Sometimes I’ll bring a journal to make notes because I find that my creativity really starts to flow once I give my mind the time to think.
It’s rejuivinating for my spirit and so calming at the same time.
There is no question in my mind that my alone time makes me a better me.
[Tweet “Taking care of me means the people in my life get what’s best of me, not what’s left of me”]
Amanda, we must be on the same wavelengths lately. I tell ya what. I just wrote a post about Reevaluating Mommy “Me” time – http://www.whatsupfagans.com/2014/07/moms-need-a-break-mommy-me-time/ and last fall wrote a post all about solitude, or the importance of silence. http://www.whatsupfagans.com/2013/10/the-importance-of-silence-in-a-multimedia-multitasking-world/
Thanks for this post. I really do think we can never be reminded enough to have quiet, reflective times in our life.
Oh great posts, thanks for sharing! I find that we are often on the same wavelength 🙂
Such a great reminder for me. I have a problem of getting on my phone as soon as it gets quiet and then my time is over and I realize I spent it on social media! It makes me feel so worthless and unaccomplished! Great read. I’ll be sharing this on my blogs Facebook page on Monday.