One of the interesting things about motherhood, or maybe life in general, is that there are seasons. There are times when we are super happy and life is good, and there are times when life just sucks.
Overall, I truly believe that happiness is a choice most days. It’s not based on our current living situations or life stressors. It’s a choice we must make every single day.
But, there are going to be times when making that choice is hard. Oh, so hard.
I recently got a comment on my Mom Funk post that really made me think.
“I can relate to this, yes, but it’s easy to just say “get up and get out of the house” or “do something.” While I really do like this post and agree with it, I’m also tired of bloggers telling me how to feel and “what to do to fix it.” What I need is my husband not to have to work so much. What we need is help and a better support system, not to clean something or make a list. I wish it was that easy.”
Trust me, I know how this woman is feeling. I also don’t have a local support system and my husband often has to be away from us for weeks or months at a time. Even without those specific stressors, I bet you have felt like she feels.
I get emails daily from women who are struggling with this exact same thing. Women who feel like they don’t get a second of time for themselves, no time to do any of that self-care stuff that I preach about. Women who feel totally unsupported and lonely. Women who are searching for that happiness.
But again, happiness comes from within. But how do you find it? How can you make that choice when all you see is the pain and frustration?
You must notice the happy.
- Slow down and take the time to notice the beauty of life around you.
- Notice the small things that bring you joy. Write it down, take a picture of it, capture it somehow in your heart.
- Think back and remember the things that used to bring you joy, write them down, and start focusing on those things again.
- Start a daily gratitude journal, and write down the things in your life that you are thankful for.
I bet that after just a few days of intentionally finding joy in your life, you will feel more at peace and happier about life in general.
Happiness isn’t a fleeting thing that only comes to you when the stars align and life isn’t stressful. Sometimes we need to be intentional about being happy. We have to go look for it.
I absolutely agree with this. Being intentional is so important. I had horrible Post Partum Depression after my daughter was born, but even in the midst of my lowest day, if I could remember to take a deep breath and talk to myself about the way I wanted to feel, it helped so much. I remember closing my eyes for a moment and thinking something simple, like, “I want to enjoy her sweet baby smell.” I was still completely overwhelmed, stressed, and exhausted, but I would open my eyes and look down on her cute little face, inhale her scent and feel a burst of happiness. It didn’t always work, but I got in the habit of reminding myself to focus on the small, wonderful things, and happiness usually followed.
The other thing I had to learn is that being happy doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing. I can have a rough day and still have happy moments. I can be stressed and tired and dragging my feet, and still feel generally happy and thankful about the life I lead. So much of that is about my mindset, and my internal monologue. The things I tell myself directly affect my mood.
Thank you for telling your story Elizabeth, and I totally agree. I love how you pointed out that happiness is not an all or nothing thing. It’s perfectly normal to have rough days and still have happy moments. Happiness is all about our internal monologue! Thank you!
I just wrote about something similar the other day after having a week when I felt like ‘nothing was going right’… it was easy for me to see all the difficult things in my life, but harder to look for the good, but there is always something good. Even in the worst of times I have learned that there is always good if you look for it!
Oh I love that post! Here’s the link in case any readers here want to read your perspective. Love your blog 🙂 http://picklebums.com/2014/08/15/find-good/
This is a great perspective. We all have days where we have to remind ourselves over and over (and over) to find the happy.
Happiness is indeed a state of mind. Most often we are guilty of trying to find happiness in the “external”. But I do agree to your tips, about thinking about things that give us joy and be grateful about it. I do what I call as “gratitude” meditation where I simply say a humble “Thank you” for all that I have. You really feel happy after that.
Great tip! I’ll have to start doing that. Thank you.
I love the quote you posted in the image “Choosing happiness even when life is hard”. Yes, indeed is challenging; however when life is hard that is when we really need to intentionally find things to be grateful for in our lives. We need to generate the vibration of joy, then life bring us more people, support and circumstances to be happy and grateful for. Our external reality and manifestations mirror our internal state. Gratitude is a great tool to get our internal state feeling happy. When we consistently do that, life changes from hard to ease.
One thing I a can agree on is it is a lot easier said than done because I happen to tell it to a lot of people until it happens to me then I realize how hard it actually is but still can’t find another easier thing than that