Balance. That’s what life is all about…right?
But how do we find that ever changing line of perfect balance?
I’ve decided that we don’t. It’s impossible.
Stop and think for a minute. When is the last time you truly felt “in balance”?
If you’re anything like me, it’s probably been a while. There is always a looming to do list, a task that must be done.
Thoughts of “I’ll be able to find balance later, after this hard thing is done” or “In the future I’ll have it all together” run through our mind.
We say “hold on, let me finish this first”. We pick up our phones to send “one last email” or check our latest status update. We’re always multitasking and praying that we can find that magic balance place.
Want to know the truth?
Balance does not exist.
Balance is not achievable.
When we push for balance, we strive for an unattainable goal.
We push and push ourselves towards something that will always be out of reach.
So, we fail.
We end up feeling guilty for not doing enough, for not BEING enough. We feel guilty that we can’t play with our kids more, or we can’t finish our to do list, or we can’t be the spouse or friend that we want to be.
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of looking for balance. I’m tired of failing. I just want to LIVE and BE HAPPY.
So how do we do this?
When we are with our kids, we stop and focus on them.
When we are working, we stop and focus on work.
When we are with our spouse, we stop and focus on us.
When we are with our friends, we stop and focus on friendship.
We stop. We focus. We be present.
We can be awesome at doing it all….just not all at the same time.
This idea of being present has rocked my world. It’s a totally different way of living for me, and it’s amazing.
Instead of multi-tasking and trying to do it all, I’ve been compartmentalizing and doing one thing at a time….for the most part.
I still have to cook dinner and take care of my kids and there are times during my day when I am juggling quite a bit. But, I don’t feel like I’m juggling all day long anymore.
I plan out my day so that when my kids are awake, I can focus most of my time on them. When they are napping, I work on house stuff or blog stuff.
I think I’ve finally figured out that the distraction of my devices was turning me into one big ball of stress and not allowing me to enjoy my days. Since I’ve decided to focus on one thing at a time, I’ve been so much happier.
I’ve yelled less and I’ve enjoyed my kids more.
So what do you say? Want to join me?
Try it for a day and see what happens. Put away the devices and the to do list and CHOOSE to be present.
I bet you’ll love it 🙂
The balance is focusing in the positive about life, the positive behavior of your kids and things like that! We are busy human beings and the key to don’t stress out is the way with react to situations, It comes from within out.
This is like the second article I’ve read in the last week saying that finding balance is bunk. And that’s hard for me to accept. I even wrote a post (complete with balancing rock picture too ha ha!) about finding the perfect balance to my life. I do think it’s possible, or at least I really want it to be. But, of course life throws your curve balls and with kids you really can’t plan out every second of every day. So I definitely like your idea of just being present. Thank you.
Honestly, I know that’s it’s hard to accept and I’m not sure if I’ve totally accepted it either. I do still plan out my days and I try to find time to do what needs to be done. I guess the big difference is that I don’t try to do it all at the same time. The big change that’s made the biggest difference for me, is that when I’m with my kids, I’m with my kids. I do still do the laundry and dishes with them around, but I’m not on my phone or computer. But, when I work, I’m focused on work. I guess you can say I compartmentalize instead of multi-task…and that feels better. I do think that balance is probably possible, but that perfect balancing place seems to change an awful lot…and it’s frustrating for me to keep trying to find it. Being present helps me focus and enjoy life more, you know? Whew..sorry for the long response…just got me thinking.