Inside: Get the tools you need to have a better morning routine with your kids with less frustration and yelling.
If you’re tired of rushing to get out the door and having to yell to get cooperation from your kids in the morning, these quick tips will help you manage the morning hustle.
Give your kids more control
We all have an innate need for power and control in our lives, including our kids. When our kids feel like they’re part of a team and have a say in how/when/why they do things, we get more buy-in from them.
But so many times in the mornings, we start feeling like drill seargants.
“Go get dressed!”
“Get your teeth brushed!”
“Is your backpack packed?”
We end up having to be on top of our kids, barking orders all morning long.
And when we give so many orders, it’s more likely that your kids will dig in their heels and say “nope!” or dilly dally and take forreever to get things done.
Instead, we need to find ways to stop the ordering around and give our kids more power buy creating a routine and schedule that THEY can follow…without needing you to be on them all morning.
So, create a visual schedule for your kids to follow. That way, when they start dilly-dallying or seem lost in the morning, you can just point them to schedule.
For more detail on this, watch the video above.
Give them a carrot.
If your child needs a bit more incentive in the morning to get things done, consider giving them a carrot.
A carrot, is something fun they love to do that they get to do once their morning routine is complete.
For my kids, that’s audiobooks or just free time to play.
They know that the faster they get their stuff done, the more time they’ll have for things they love to do.
Create a Buffer
Now that the kids are ready and have gone through the routine, we now have to get out of the door…which can turn into a whole other battle.
So make sure you create a buffer of time in the mornings.
If you think it should take 5 minutes to get shoes on, backpacks on, and get to the car…give yourself 10.
This allows for slower days, dilly-dallying, and mistakes.
Just this morning, my son forgot to get dressed before he went to play.
That’s right, I went up to get him to the car and he was standing there in his pajamas!
Instead of freaking out on him and getting angry, I just looked at him and said “Hey bud, it’s time to go but you’re still in your pajamas.”
I didn’t get upset because I knew we had a buffer of time and that we wouldn’t be late.
Is it upsetting that he didn’t finish his routine? Yep.
But this is a rare thing, we had a buffer, and it all turned out okay.
That’s how I kept myself from losing it on him this morning.
When the kids start going slower than I’d like and I can feel my blood pressure rising, I just have to look at my clock and remind myself that “we have a buffer. There’s still plenty of time.”
Ground yourself with questions
Now, there will ALWAYS be mornings when things are just “off”.
You might have woken up late, someone’s in a mood, or it was just a series of unfortunate events that cause the morning to go into full chaos.
When those days happen, it’s important to ground yourself.
Ask yourself a few questions…
- “Are we usually late? Can we still make it out on time?”
- “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
- “Can I handle the consequences of being late?”
Most of the time, there isn’t an emergency if you’re running a few minutes late…but our body might respond like there is.
These quick questions will help you stay calm and grounded when you feel yourself getting upset.
I just want to say thank you so much for this timely email! I just had a horrid morning with my daughter, one of these times where it just get out of hand and I turn into a she-hulk and then feel bas about the whole thing for hours on end. We tried a visual schedule and I thought my almost 9-year-old had outgrown it but I realize phases come and go and she’a just so exhausted right now at the end of winter that she might need it back in her routine! Also the time buffers!! Such a simple yet life-saving tip I always forget. I’m often way too optimistic about the time we have, so when the slightest thing goes wrong, it quickly snowballs! Thanks again, after reading this I am determined to keep cool tomorrow morning.