“I’m trying not to yell…I really am. Â But, it seems like that is the only way I can get my kids to listen to me. Â Just don’t know what to do. Â Help!”
I’ve heard this more times than I can count.
 “Why won’t my child listen to me!?”
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Why Your Child Won’t Listen
1. They’ve been trained to. Â If your child won’t listen it’s because they have been trained that their parents don’t really mean what they says unless they’re yelling. Â So they tune you out or don’t act until you get frustrated enough that you start yelling.
2. Ineffective parenting techniques. Â Every parent needs a toolbox of parenting tips to pull from. A well-equipped Mama will have the right tools she needs to handle any behavior or problem that may arise.
Sometimes we have old, outdated tools that just don’t work well anymore, or only one or two tools that don’t work for every situation. Â We constantly need to be updating our toolboxes and finding techniques that work.
3. Counterwill. Counterwill is the instinct to refuse to do something when you’re asked to because you aren’t happy with the person asking. Think about your spouse/partner, parent, or even boss. If you aren’t happy with them and they start asking you for favors, you’ll either refuse or do it with an unhappy attitude…right?
The same thing happens with your kids.
Counterwill is a huge reason why kids don’t listen to their parents. I talk more about it in the workshop below.
How Can I Get My Child To Listen Without Yelling or Nagging?
Well, I have two awesome ways to get your child to listen without all the yelling.Â
Free Workshop:
“3 Mistakes Parents Make When Trying To Get Their Kids To Listen
This workshop is not only full of information on exactly WHY your children don’t listen but also some key things most well-intentioned parents do that contribute to their kids not listening.
It is an hour-long workshop that you can watch at a time that works for you.
During this workshop, you’ll fill up your toolbox full of tools that really do work, get insights into why your kids act the way they do, and how you can get them to listen without having to yell.
I promise that you’ll walk away feeling empowered and able to handle even the most difficult situations.
Mama’s Anger Management
Mama’s Anger Management is a four-week program that will help you understand why we yell.  You will find what triggers your anger and ways to work around those triggers so that you don’t end up yelling.  You will also learn ways to calm yourself before you scream and let go of all that anger and frustration.
But best of all…
This course will help you transform your relationships with your children.
Sign up for Mama’s Anger Management here
With these two tools, you’ll have everything you need to stop yelling!
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Hi Charlene,
I don’t have a video of the webinar, but you can sign up using this link to attend a live webinar. {affilite link} http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/amember/aff/go/dirtandboogers/
Hi Erica. Check out this link that has more times that the webinar is available. I won’t be hosting them, but the information is the same. (affiliate link) http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/amember/aff/go/dirtandboogers/ Let me know if those don’t work either.
That’s probably true. Not every technique is going to work with every child.
It should have been sent straight you your email. Check your spam folder, just in case.
Hi Brian:
Judy Graybill does some excellent work with stepfamilies. Being a step-parent is much more complex than parenting your own children because there are so many other factors involved. I would suggest that you check out Judy’s work with stepfamilies on her site: http://stepfamilycoach.com/.
I hope that’s helpful for you!
Thank you, Emily, for sharing my website. I sincerely appreciate it. I just noticed this today and am not sure how long ago you posted it. So please forgive the delay if it’s been awhile.
Brian, Emily is correct in that stepfamilies are way more complex. The key to your challenge is working as a team with your wife (the kids’ mom) on these behavioral issues. She has natural influence on them (unlike you). So if she’s allowing their behavior, they’ll continue acting up. Typically in these scenarios, the children see the stepparent as overreacting, as opposed to seeing themselves as doing something wrong. That’s why your wife is the key to enforcing lasting change.
If you’d like more detailed help, in addition to my website, you can also email me at judy@stepfamilycoach.com. I reply to all my email personally.
I hope this helps a bit.
Judy