I’ve been on a personal challenge to stop yelling at my kids.
This week I was tempted, oh so tempted to yell. But I didn’t. I certainly got angry a few times and one day my anger boiled over and I had to get away from my son.
I had to take a long time out so that I could calm myself down before I was able to address the problem at hand.
You see, my 3-year old broke something of mine that he knew he wasn’t supposed to play with. It wasn’t something expensive, and it is totally replaceable. Looking back, it almost feels silly that I got that mad over something that small.
The truth is that I was already at the end of my rope.
I had been on my computer all morning and just wanted to get my stuff done. I didn’t want to spend time with him. I didn’t respond nicely to his requests. like I usually do. He was picking at my heels, and I just wanted to do my own thing.
I could feel the tension rising.
I could feel myself slowly getting more and more agitated.
Then he broke my stuff.
And I boiled over.
I was furious! I sent him to sit on the couch and wait for me to come back.
I went upstairs to calm myself down.
After a few minutes, I went to him and we were able to regroup, and lessons were learned….by both of us.
This situation really made me think.
Why did such a small thing throw me so far over the edge?
I realized a few things about myself that day.
- I don’t handle my kids very well when I’m distracted by my computer, specifically facebook and blogs.
- When I’m distracted, my 3 year old will find a way to get my attention. Usually by breaking a rule or by being super loud.
- I can’t handle too much noise. I find that when there is too much sound around me, I get agitated.
This morning, all 3 things were happening, and it was just a matter of time before I lost it.
It all started with me.
I wasn’t there.
I wasn’t available.
I was distracted.
I admit I’m on my computer quite a lot. It sits on my kitchen counter, right next to my kids playroom…right in the middle of everything.
I can jump on for a second at any point during the day.
I hear a ding from facebook, and I’m there in an instant.
So….my next personal challenge is going to be hard.
I’m staying off the computer when my kids are around.
I’m turning off all notifications on my phone.
I will get work done before they get up in the morning. I will use nap time to blog in peace. I will be more organized so that I don’t waste the time I have.
Even though it will be hard, I’m excited about it.
I’m happier on the days when I’m not sucked into my computer. I’m more playful, I get more accomplished, and I have more patience.
I think I’ll be happier…freer maybe? I know one thing for sure…my kids will be happier.
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