Hello, I’m Amanda and I’m a recovering Angry Mama.
It wasn’t long ago that I was yelling at my children all the time. Â It didn’t take much to make me yell and turn me into a raging Hulk Mama.
I was short tempered and it felt like I was mad way more than I was happy.
I clearly remember the morning when I lost it on my oldest son. Â
He was playing and accidentally spilled coffee on my computer.
I jumped up off the couch, ranting and raging. Â I screamed so much that my throat hurt for the next 2 days.
I knew in that moment that I had to control my temper. Â I had to get happy and stop taking out my anger on my kids. So I made a plan.
Because I was a Mental Health Therapist, I knew what to do. Â I pulled out every single tool that I had to help me control my emotions and started out on my journey to stop yelling.
That was three years ago, and I can say with a grateful heart that I’m happier, healthier, and I no longer yell at my kids.
Am I perfect? Â Hardly.
I still get upset and still raise my voice from time to time, I am human after all. Â But I no longer rage, and that feels great.
But I’ve been able to get to the point that I don’t have to have my yellow hearts posted around my house, my 50 Calm Down Tips no longer hang on my walls, and I don’t need near as many Mommy Breaks as I used to.
I’m living a more grateful, fulfilled life and I can’t remember the last time I turned into a big green Hulk Mom, and that feels great.
I may not need all my tools anymore, but one thing that I continue to use to help me stay on track is my cell phone. Â It’s pretty much always with me so I’ve used it to help me on my journey.
My guess that, if you’re like me, your cell phone is usually around. Â So why not use your phone to help you stop yelling?
Here’s how I do it.
AÂ Timer
I already use timers for everything from giving the boys their five-minute warning that it’s time to leave the playground to reminding myself to pick them up from school. Shoot, I even use a timer when my son asks me to play with him.
So why not add a reminder to stay calm when I know a certain time of day is chaotic? Being able to feel the vibration or hear the “Be-do, Be-do” sound is a helpful reminder that things could get stressful.
Now when we’re trying to get out of the house, right after school, and when I’m making dinner, my phone reminds me to check on my own level of anger and to calm down.
I learned this trick from Erica at What Do We Do All Day, and it’s brilliant!
The Forest App
One of my biggest triggers is being interrupted while I’m using my phone.
Nothing sends me over the edge more than a child needing my attention while I’m replying to someone on my phone. Â I know…I know…que the Mom Guilt.
To help me with this trigger, I’ve started using the Forrest App on my phone.
The Forrest App plays this fun game with me.  It plants a seed in my virtual forest and the seed will grow into a tree in 30 minutes.
However, if I pick up my phone and exit out of the app before the tree grows, it dies.
It feels like I’m playing a game of wills with myself. Â I want a lush green forest of trees, so I try really hard not to pick up my phone before my time is up. Â It’s amazing how well this works!
Get it here on Android | iPhone
Deep Breathing Apps
A few members of my Stop Yelling Group said that they use deep breathing and meditation apps on their phone that help them stay cool and calm when life gets stressful.
I’m a big believer in both deep breathing and meditation, but I hadn’t thought of using my phone to help guide me in my practice…duh!
So, I downloaded one of the apps they recommended and holy smokes, it’s awesome!
I practice my deep breathing during times when I’m relaxed and able to practice, then it’s easier for me to use the same techniques when I find myself getting angry. Â Try it out, it’s awesome.
Install Stop, Breathe & Think on Android | iPhone
Okay, now pick up your phone and start installing some apps!
Online Tools
Having great calm down tips and information about why we yell and how to stay calm when life gets chaotic, helps a lot.
I have several of these tools that can help you out. Â You can choose my 17 page digital Stop Yelling Handbook. Â Print it out or keep it on your phone so you can have it when you need it.
But to get everything you need, check out my eCourse Mama’s Anger Management. Â It has everything you need to stop yelling. Â Everything.
The tips and techniques taught in the program are pulled straight from my days as a Mental Health Therapist and are proven to work.
They’ve helped me and over 1000 Moms control our temper and create happier homes, and I know they can help you too.
The best part is that since everything is given to you online and you get a lifetime access to the lessons when you sign up. As long as you have your phone you’ll always have the tools you need.
The trick to staying calm is to use tools that work and having the tools always on hand.
With the help of my cell phone, I’m confident that I won’t go back to that Mom I was 3 years ago. Â I won’t ever be that Hulk Mom again, and that makes me feel great.
More reads for you:
- The Secret to Being A Happy Mom
- 5 Myths About Yelling At Kids
- 5 Books That Will Help You Rock at Parenting
Amanda, these are some great ideas, I use the timer function fairly often. Another thing I used my cell phone for was a quick text “Status”, which meant where are you, what are you doing and who are you with. This worked well when teens forgot to check in or had unclear plans.
Such a great article.. I am a total yeller… and I have been trying to stop since I’ve had kids! ha!