It’s been 10 weeks since Baby E made his way into our world and completed our family. It’s amazing how time has gone by so fast. But more surprising is how much of a different Mom I am this time around.
This time around I’m ignoring all the experts. I remember feeling such anxiety when J was a baby. I felt that I needed to follow the books in order to raise my babe the “right way”. Now, I have a good idea of what works and doesn’t work in our family. I am more relaxed about following what the experts say and am following my own intuition more.
This time around I’m finding time to take care of me. I’ve learned that in order to be the best Mom I can be, I have to put myself first sometimes. I need naps, healthy food, and down time, just like my kids do. It’s hard with 2 young kids, but I make sure to make it a priority.
This time around I’m trying to remember to capture the moment. I’m taking a ton pictures, sharing them with family, and keeping up with our family photo book. These days go by so fast and I don’t want to forget a thing…so I try to capture them all. But…
This time around I’m also trying to get from behind the camera. In spite of taking a ton of pictures, I’m trying hard to put the camera down and really enjoy the moments too. It’s a balance.
This time around dishes aren’t always getting done, laundry sits in the dryer for hours, and bathrooms don’t get clean. Honestly, I’m trying to get it all done, but I’m not going to beat myself up if I can’t stay on top of it all. I’m juggling more and sometimes things get dropped.
This time around I’m not looking forward to him sleeping through the night. Some of my favorite moments are those in the dark of the night, free from all distractions, when it’s just the 2 of us. The time when he’s super sleepy, quiet, and cuddly. I get to smell his sweet smell and feel his warm little body cuddled into mine. It’s intoxicating.
This time around I’m forgiving myself more. I’m trying hard not to beat myself up if I can’t play with J as much as I want to, if dinner doesn’t get made every night, if it takes me longer to meet Baby E’s needs, if I break some of my parenting rules. I’m trying to remind myself that I’m working hard and that no parent is perfect.
This time around I’m trying to appreciate the baby stage more. I’m trying to soak in all the sweet baby cuddles, coos, and smiles. I know I’ll miss this stage when it’s gone.
This time around I’m fighting with time. I don’t want him to grow so fast. Knowing that he’s our last, I want to soak in all his baby-ness before it’s gone.
Because of all this…
This time around I’m a calmer, happier, and more confident parent.