You might be wondering why. Why in the world does this woman talk about yelling at kids?
I mean, it isn’t pleasant.
It’s not near as much fun as blogging about recipes, home organization stuff, or puppies. There are so many other, happier, things to write about.
Trust me…I didn’t plan on it.
It all started because of something that happened 6 years ago when my kids were 3 and 1.
It was just a normal morning with my boys.
I was sitting next to my 3 old on the couch typing away on my laptop while he watched Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.
My 1-year-old had just learned how to pull himself up and he was cruising around the furniture showing off his new mad skillz.
I was quietly sipping my coffee and getting a few things done.
A normal simple morning.
Then my 3-year-old started getting restless.
Jumping on the couch, twirling around on the cushions…you know…being a 3-year-old.
I told him to stop.
I told him to just sit still.
And he did…for a second.
And in that second, I picked p my cup of coffee and took a sip.
A normal simple morning.
Then he twirled again and bumped my arm…
Yes, the one holding mug with freshly brewed coffee in it hovering over my brand new laptop.
And when that coffee splashed out of that mug and onto my computer, I LOST IT.
I threw my computer onto the couch, jumped up, and ran to the kitchen for paper towels.
All the while SCREETCHING at my son.
“OMG!! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS!!!”
I raged cleaned as much as I could, then I stood right in front of the TV and screamed even more.
“I TOLD YOU TO SIT DOWN!! I TOLD YOU TO BE STILL!!! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID! YOU RUINED MY COMPUTER!!! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?”
Words came flying out of my mouth like verbal bullets towards my son.
After what felt like an eternity, I finally stopped and looked at my boys.
My 3-year-old was curled up in a ball, face wet with tears.
The baby was sitting on the floor wailing.
And I lost it again…but this time it was the guilt that broke me.
I cried big wet sobs.
I knew I had to do better. I had to stop the yelling.
Why in the world did I get so angry over something so small?
After being crushed with guilt, I picked myself up and apologized to both my kids.
I held them close and promised that I’d never scream like that again.
And I began my Stop Yelling Journey.
It took me a long time to finally understand my anger and what I needed to do to tame it for good.
I certainly had my good days and my not so good days, but in the end, I’m super proud to say that I have NEVER raged on my kids like that since.
And…I no longer find myself yelling at my kids.
I’ll share more about the tools and tips I used on my journey as we go through this challenge.
But what I want you to know today, is that you are not alone.
Even someone like me…who has a degree in Child Development, was a Mental Health Therapist, and worked with families professionally for years…still found herself yelling at her kids.
I KNOW how to regulate emotions and deal with stress. Yet I couldn’t cope with the stress of motherhood.
Trust me…you aren’t alone.
So many parents yell at their kids, including me.
But remember…I’m here for you and we can do this!