4 weeks down! It’s been a full month since I yelled at my kids…and it feels so good!
In this month, I’ve learned a lot about yelling. I’m getting a better understanding about why parents yell, the different levels of yelling, and most importantly how to stop yelling when we’re angry.
The most beneficial thing I’ve kept with me is that…
I can not control my children’s behavior. I can only control how I REACT to it.
My reactions are the piece that matters. Children are not going to be perfect all the time. As parents, we are going to be angry and disappointed at their behaviors now and again. They are learning and they will make mistakes. How we react to those mistakes is where the real teaching begins.
So, when I get angry, what are my children learning from me?
Do I want them to learn to yell at others when they get angry?
Do I want them to learn that yelling is an appropriate way to get what they want?
I must be a better example. I must show them how to handle the anger that they will feel.
To help myself, and the other parents in the Stop Yelling Group, I’ve made a Stop Yelling Handbook part of my Stop Yelling Toolbox. With these tips, we’ve been working on calming ourselves or redirecting our anger in other, more appropriate ways.
It’s not a toolbox of parenting techniques to change our children so that we won’t have to yell. That’s something totally different. It’s a toolbox of techniques to keep from yelling at them when we do get angry.
I put them in a slide show for you. Just scroll through left or right using the little arrows. Or you can purchase a PDF copy of the Stop Yelling Handbook to keep.
So tell me, are there any that you want to try? Am I missing one that you already do that works? Any other pointers?