Inside: Get the 3-day Potting Training Boot Camp Formula.
Last week I potty trained J who just turned 2.5 years old. It took two days, and we haven’t looked back.
He had accidents the first and second days but has been clean and dry since. He’s even waking up dry at naptime and a few times in the morning.
We have already transitioned from his baby potty to the toilet and he’s spent two full days out of the house with no accidents!
Sounds too good to be true? I think so too!
In all honesty, I’m afraid of saying anything too positive about our potty training success in fear that he will immediately regress back to daily accidents and diapers. I expect that any moment he’ll have an accident or start refusing to use the potty.
I keep thinking “it can’t be over…that was too easy”. But, it’s been a week now without accidents so something must be working.
Let me start off by saying that I worked for 4 years in the “potty training room” at a childcare.
In the end I have helped potty train lots and lots of kids. I’ve seen several potty training methods, plenty that worked, and many that didn’t.
So, I took what I learned from this time, plus my understanding of child development and put J through a 3 Day Potty Training Boot Camp.
Let’s begin…shall we?
Look for signs of Readiness
This is what I call the “Golden Rule of Potty Training”.
Do not try to potty train your child before they are ready! I know that there can be a lot of pressure out there to potty train our children early.
However, children need to be both physically and emotionally ready in order to potty train.
A child will train when he/she is ready to. If you try too early than it will be a really frustrating experience for both you and your child If you wait until your child is ready than potty training will be easier for both you and your child.
Most children are ready between 2-3 years old. Boys tend to be later in their readiness.
Here are the signs of readiness that J showed:
- He has been waking up dry from naptime for months and he can stay dry for 2-3 hours at a time. This shows that he has the bladder control to hold it until he can get to the potty.
- He would go off by himself to poop. This tells me that he is aware of his bowel movements and he knows when he needs to go.
- He showed interest in the potty. He would sit when sent and started asking to sit on it more often.
There are lots of signs that a child is ready and each child will show some or all of the signs. Read here for all them.
The 3 Day Potting Training Bootcamp Method
The prep:
- We bought J a potty about a year ago when he was only 1.5 years old. I wanted it around so that he could get used to it and not have fear surrounding the potty. He has used it off and on since we bought it.
- I have always allowed J to flush toilets if he wanted to so that he learned that it is a safe thing and something he’s allowed to use.
- About a week before potty training began, I checked out some children’s books about potty training. We read them together throughout the week.
- The week before we started talked about J using the potty like Mom and Dad do and that he will get his own underwear.
The Plan:
- Pick 3 days on the calendar where we will stay at home.
- Let him pick out his own underwear at the store. This gives him more incentive to keep them dry.
- Dress him only in his underwear from the waist down for all 3 days. This will help him feel wet and will make it easier for me to tell when he’s having an accident. Plus, less laundry!
- Get rid of diapers. (we gave all his cloth diapers to Baby Brother and kept a few disposables for nighttime). Having him help get rid of diapers let’s him know that they are no longer and option.
- Put his potty in a central location. We chose his playroom. His playroom is on a tile floor, plus it’s right outside our kitchen and family rooms. I wanted the potty to be in a central place so for easy access. Having it out in the open reminds him to use it.
- Give plenty of fluids so that he will need to go. The fuller the bladder the more practice he gets.
- Send him every 2 hours to go sit on the potty.
- Scoop him up and put him on the potty when I notice that he’s having an accident or send immediately after an accident. This reinforces the fact that pee goes in the potty
- If he had an accident, remind him to keep his underwear dry, and have him help clean up the mess every time. Try not to get upset about the accident. He’s learning and accidents are going to happen.
- If he uses the potty…even a tiny amount…give lots and lots of praise. We ended up having a potty dance that we danced every time he went. I did not use incentives like stickers or candy because I want him to go because he needs to go, not because he wants an award. The praising was more then enough incentive. Kids want to please the ones they love, so I used that in my advantage!
- Absolutely no diapers/pull-ups during the daytime! If a child is wearing a diaper or a pull-up he will use it. It’s important to stay consistent and I didn’t want to confuse J by sometimes allowing him to not use the potty.
- Keep track. This may seem a bit over the top, but by writing down his accidents and successes I am able to see if he’s improving or if he’s showing any patterns. Plus, it helps me keep track of the last time he went so I can remind him to go.
With that plan in place we were ready!
Day 1:
I planned on starting our potty training adventure on a Thursday morning. I took him to Target on Wednesday to pick out his own new underwear. He picked Thomas the Train and Cars, which are his favorite characters. As soon as we walked into the house he took off his pants and asked to put on his underwear. He got his potty and asked to sit on it right away. Wouldn’t you know it…he went pee pee in the potty! Lots of laughter and cheers followed. So, we went ahead and started a day early.
Here’s how the rest of the day went.
- I kept J in a t-shirt and his underwear all day long. I reminded him not to get Thomas the Train or Lightning McQueen wet. If he had an accident, I let him choose another pair of undies to put on.
- I followed the plan through the entire day.
- He had 5 accidents and once J ran to the potty without prompting and peed.
By the end of the day, I was a bit worried that this was a joke and that it would never work.
Day 2:
J woke up wet and did not pee on the potty in the morning.
- Again, I kept him in just his underwear and a t-shirt, sent him every 2 hours to the potty.
- By 10:00 he had had 3 accidents (including one poop).
The 10:00 accident is when Mommy had a temper tantrum.
I had just sat J on the potty 10 minutes before and he did not go. I asked him about a minute before the accident if he had to go…he said no. Then he peed on the floor. I got mad. I said how angry I was and that I was disappointed because pee pee’s go in the potty, not on the floor. My “Mommy voice” was in full swing and I’m pretty sure I raised my voice louder than he’s used to. I do remember feeling like I needed to get away before I shamed him and made him cry.
So, I sent myself to time out to calm down.
I was angry for about 30 more minutes until J got up from playing and peed on the potty by himself. All the anger went away and I have never been so proud of him. I thought “FINALLY!!!”.
That is the last accident that J had. I’m not sure if it just clicked, or if it was me losing my cool was the trigger, but he finally got it!
We went to the park that afternoon and had an accident-free blast!
- Today he had 3 accidents and 7 successful trips to the potty!
Day 3:
Today he got up and peed on the potty right away. This was his first accident-free day. My husband did catch him mid-poop and sent him to finish in the potty. Most of the day, we’d catch him holding himself and sent him to the potty. If we asked he’d tell us if he had to go, but only on a few occasions, he went on his own.
My goal for the day was to introduce him to the big potty. I really hate the baby potty (so messy!) and I want him to be able to go on a big potty when we are out and about too.
So, I talked up how cool the big potty is and asked J if he wanted to use the same potty that Mommy and Daddy use. He said yes and I helped him sit on it. He was so happy to use the big potty! After a few successful trips, I took the baby potty back upstairs to be used as a step stool. He’s only used the big potty since.
Later that afternoon all three of us went to the mall to play and then out to eat. J was able to use a public bathroom without any problems…which makes me very happy!
- Today he had 0 accidents and 11 successful trips to the potty!
Since then:
- J has woken up several mornings dry.
- Most of the time he goes to the potty without prompting from us.
- He naps in his underwear and has been staying dry during naps.
- He only uses the big toilet.
- He’s been accident free with both pees and poops since Day 2.
I am fully aware that my experience is probably not the norm. I’ve heard too many stories about potty training failures and struggles to think that potty training is always as easy as it was for us. However, I do want to share with you what I did and why I think it worked. Hey, if it worked for me, it might work for you too!
Here are a few resources about potty training that may help you out!
How I Potty Trained My Daughter in 3 Days – Growing a Jeweled Rose This is the only post I read about potty training before I started. She has some great info that really helped me out.
3 Day Potty Training – I did not read this book, but from what I hear it’s great and very similar to what I did with J.
Taming the Goblin – This blog has a great series of posts about the successes and failures of potty training.
How My Twins Potty Trained Themselves: Caution! Twins at Play – A different system than I used, but I think it’s pretty smart!
You and J both rock!
Thanks. It really seems to easy to be true…still waiting for the next shoe to drop.
Lots of great tips! I hadn’t thought of keeping a diary, but it makes so much sense now that I think of it. Kiddo had some success at 1.5 years old, but he has been recalcitrant for a long time, and then tonight, he did both pee and poo in the potty, so it might be time to start again…like tomorrow! Sharing this with my husband as well.
The diary made things so much easier for me. I am a bit Type A though…I really like lists and routines. Good luck with the potty training!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oh, I accidentally deleted my first commentary.
I’ll write it again:
Thanks so much for the tips! Our eldest son is 2 years and almost 2 months old, so I thought lately it was time to start potty training. He has known potty and sitting on it and peeing or pooping in it since the age of 11 because I thought I would at least make hims friends with the potty so that he does not resist sitting on it. So I thought it’s time for the potty training, so we started it two days ago. Those days made me mad and desparate. Now, after having read your blog on potty training, I understand why. Ernests is not ready yet. We will start again when he shows signs of readiness. Thanks once more!!!
age of 11 months
Just wanted to explain that even though I started putting Ernests on the potty so early and we were lucky many times, he has never gone to the potty on his own, never asked for it and he would rather try to escape going to a potty. Last 2 days (except the night) we were not using the diapers but he did not even notice having accidents. When I read all the signs of readiness, it dawned on me why these 2 days seemed were so crazy. 🙂
I am really relieved we do not have to continue going through this potty training craziness we experienced last 2 days.:) I am happy my sister in law gave me the link to your blog, Amanda, because there’s so much to read here! So much useful information! :)I am at home with two boys – Ernests (Earnest:) born September 2010) and Jekabs (Jacob 🙂 born May 2012). Sometimes I badly need advice on different issues. Especially lately regarding potty training.:)Ernests is in the kitchen at the moment, playing with beans and bowls of different sizes, spades, etc. (he loves playing with water,tea, etc. does it every day lately, pouring from cup to cup, on the table, on the floor; I just mopped up the kitchen floor, decided to switch his attention to something different :)). I read some fragments about sensory play, so I replaced water with beans 🙂 – won’t need to mop up again the flooding kitchen. 😀
Love reading your blog.
Liga from Latvia
liga.aboltina@gmail.com
Thank you so much for your sweet comments! I’m so glad that you are enjoying the blog and that the information has helped you out.
Hi, Amanda! 🙂 I guess I need your advice and support. Our eldest is now 2 years and 8 months old. We started again potty training him four days ago. We do not use diapers at all. There is some progress – two nights have been absolutely dry. And yesterday it seemed he had fewer accidents (today quite many though). The main problem is that he does not feel uncomfortable being wet. And he does not care that Bob the Builder or Lightning McQueen get wet. Also, he often refuses to use the potty and thinks it’s funny to avoid using the potty and escaping from me.
Today I have managed to persuade him sit on the potty for a few times. Most times he peed in the potty. But we have had several accidents and still no interest to ask for the potty or go to it. Not sure what to do.
Liga! I’m just now seeing this, I wasn’t notified that you left another comment. Please send me and email at amanda@messymotherhood.com if you’re still having some trouble. I hope things are improving!
What do you put them in overnight?
Hey Megan. Right now he is in a disposable diaper. I’m going to start using pull-ups soon. I want him in something that he can get up and down on his own so we can start working on him going on his own at nighttime if he needs to. I’d say that right now he wakes up dry half of the time.
Thanks for the info! I especially like how you dressed him in underwear and a shirt. I was given advice to start them naked which worked great – he’d stop playing and go by himself. But now if he has clothes on he has accidents. So as long as he’s naked he’s potty trained. Gotta work on that now.
How frustrating! Good luck. I had also heard the naked thing, but I wanted him to know what it feels like to be wet. We went through a lot of undies the first couple of days!
Great to see all the success! Phew! You should turn it into a PDF for parents to download, along with all your resources, great job!
Thanks Lisa, that’s a great idea!
Thank you for your wonderful tips on Potty Training! My daughter is almost 4 years old. She IS potty trained however…she will, at times, pee on the carpet out of “defiance” or when she is too busy “playing”. She hasn’t had many moments like that lately but…just when I think she’s done doing this…another accident occurs. I try not to lose my cool but..at times, it’s very frustrating. She knows to use the potty on most occasions. She has her own seat. She uses the potty at daycare, no problems. I’m now going to attempt to potty train my 2 year old son who has been showing signs of interest by: sitting on the little potty, wanting to flush the big potty (toilet), and washing his hands after. He wants to do what his big sister does so…I’m hoping this will help in his success! I’m going to follow your tips with my son and hopefully he too can be trained in 3 days! 🙂 Thanks again! Happy Parenting!
I really believe that potty training can really take years to get it fully. There are many kids like your daughter who hold it and don’t want to stop what they are doing to go. I’d say that’s even the norm. J is having a really hard time with that right now too. He still doesn’t have accidents but he sure does do the pee-pee dance a lot and often does a mad dash to the potty before he has an accident. My biggest tip with accidents, is have them change their clothing and clean up the mess as best as they can. It can help the accidents stop if they are the one who has to clean up the mess. Good luck with training your son. I hope that these tips help. Thanks for reading!
Omg thank you for this! i needed it
I really like your plans and tips. It is true your child does have to be ready before you begin training. I know many parents that were too eager and screwed themselves trying to train their kids before they were ready causing more stress, mess and time than you even know… But what has helped besides your tips here is this guide: http://pottytrainingindays.blogspot.com
I really like your plans and tips. It is true your child does have to be ready before you begin training. I know many parents that were too eager and screwed themselves trying to train their kids before they were ready causing more stress, mess and time than you even know… But what has helped besides your tips here is this guide: http://pottytrainingindays.blogspot.com
I may have missed this, but did you put him in a diaper during nap time?
I did keep him in diapers for naptime for a few weeks, but soon he started to refuse to wear it. He was waking up dry most afternoons, so I didn’t make him wear it, but I do have him go to the bathroom before he lays down. So far, he has stayed dry.
I just started this today and it has been extremely unpleasant. We’ve had no success on the potty so far and several accidents on the floors. I’m trying to stay positive about this and give it a chance. I’m hopeful, but it’s been difficult as my toddle positively HATES the potty. We’ve went through a lot of underwear already today. I’m crossing my fingers and keeping this up.
Crossing my fingers too! I know that potty training can be a really hard and long process. But I do believe that it can be easier when the child is ready. Good luck! I hope the next few days are easier for you!
Hi I have a LO whos almost 2. He refuses to wear a diaper. My real concern is when going potty he sit on there for like 7 mins then he get off and pees on the floor. What would be your idea to help hime understand more that the pee goes in the potty.
Thank you for the tips on potty training. I really like the tip about keeping a diary.
Thank you so much for sharing this ! We are raising my nephew which will turn 2 on Christmas Day ! Our children are grown and out on their own now so this is like being a first time mommy all over. He is SOOOO different then our 3 were. If we tell him no that will make an ouchy you can bet your behind he will do it had do it until you have to use the “mommy voice” because he is a little picker !! He gets that TRUELY from my brother (his grand father) just was hoping he was such a terrific little picker at such a young age LOL. He is now to the point of where he is refusing to leave his diaper on and will point and say pee pee every time it’s wet. So we have been discussing if its too soon to start potty training or not. Over the last few months he does go with me or my husband in the bathroom when we have to “make pee” so he understands that part. This morning he took his diaper off and I was running around as usual trying to get the few things done before he starts his day. I knew he had his diaper off but as most busy moms I kept telling myself to hurry get this done because he normally has a morning poo to follow. WEEEELLL he did have his morning poo alright ! But thankfully it was in the bathroom on the floor right in front of the big potty ! So I think to myself that’s a very good thing because he knew go to the bathroom ! On the other hand he was very very upset that he pooped on the floor ! I kept letting him know it was ok and I cleaned it up gave lots of hugs and all was fine then. So I told my husband to stop on his way home and get him a new potty ! As the one we have now is more of a fancy potty chair not what I consider a potty. With your post it does give me some reminders of what I did to potty train my son (23 years ago!!!) but to also make it “fun & rewarding” for him also. Thanks so much for sharing as I for one need this for our new adventure in to toddler hood !!
Help! My son is 4 years old and though he pees in the potty he refuses to poop in the potty. He will ask for a pull up when he needs to go. He holds his bowel movements at preschool and has become constipated a few times. The first time we gave him a pediatric suppository we had him sit on the potty to go. It was scary for him and I’m worried that we traumatized him to the point that he thinks pooping in the potty is scary. I’m afraid that withholding pull ups will just cause more painful constipation. Any suggestions?
Thanks for sharing great tips.. Our little guy is in the process of leaving diapers for good. As soon as he turned two we tried potty training but it seemed like he wasn’t ready to give up his diapers.
We essentially did the 3 day method (http://kidpottytraining.com), but I modified it for my kiddo a little bit. We spent a 3 day weekend in only underwear and shirts. Day one, I set a timer every hour so that she would use the potty. I gave her a bunch of things to drink as well. We had two pee accidents on that day. Day two, I stopped using the timer, but asked if she had to potty. She did pretty well and had one pee accident. Last day she was flirt the whole day. We did not use the sofas those days.
Good luck. Every kiddo is different and you know best. Just remember, like EVERYTHING in parenting, if you can roll with the punches, you can escape with your sanity intact.