I'm about to get into the shower when I hear the garage door open.
My husband is home with our boys and I know that they will be hungry for lunch soon. I better hurry.
I take a quick shower. I don't take the time to stand still and feel the warm water on my aching back. I don't let myself relax in the steam and I don't take the time to let my mind wander like I used to.
As I get out and look at myself in the mirror, and do a quick inventory of how much time I need to get ready.
"I don't really have to dry my hair. It will be curly and unruly if I let it air dry, but who cares? I'm not going anywhere that important today.
I can put on my makeup later. I don't have to do that right now.
Let's just do the bare minimum, I need to get downstairs."
Then I stopped. I looked in the mirror again, and it hit me.
Why do I have to hurry? Why can't I take my time and actually get ready? My husband is with them, and he's more than capable of making a few peanut butter sandwiches if they get hungry.
Why do I feel like I have to be there? They have left me alone since they've been home. They are not pressuring me to get ready, why am I rushing?
I know I'm Mom and all, but they can totally survive without me for a few minutes while I get ready.
So I blow dried my hair and I put on my makeup. Again, I looked in the mirror.
I felt great, complete, ready to start the day.
When I finally made it downstairs, my boys were just fine.
The only difference was that I felt fine too.
Why do I feel like I need to deny myself those few minutes to actually get ready?
Is it because I'm Mom? Is it because being a parent is my full time job, so I feel the most responsible?
I don't know...but it needs to end.
It's time to start really focusing on not just my kids needs, but mine too.
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