As you may know, I’m a big fan of mantras and positive statements. I use them everyday and keep the words close to me to remind me of what’s really important.
Statements like “You got this”, “I am enough”, and “Just breathe” keep me going day to day.
Most of my mantras are geared towards my emotions and finding the will power to keep going.
But, I do have one mantra that I use every single day for my kids…
Teach, just teach
Children enter this world knowing nothing. As newborns, they work off of pure instincts and reflexes.
They don’t know all the life lessons that we know. They don’t have the coping skills that we have. As children grow, they learn new things every day. But sometimes it’s easy to forget that they don’t always have the tools they need to handle a situation.
Every day I come across something that I really want to discipline my children for. But I have to consciously remind myself that it’s my job to teach them.
My 4 year old was having a really difficult time with his younger brother. In true toddler fashion, his brother was destroying everything that my 4 year old was playing with.
My son was retaliating by screaming at him and pushing him over.
Instead of punishing my older son. I took him aside and we problem solved. We talked about what he can do in the future, ways that he can play without disruptions from his brother, and how to cope when brother does mess up his play.
I had to remind myself that he’s 4, and that he doesn’t have the coping skills or tools to handle this situation. It was up to me to teach those things to him.
Sending him to time out or taking away his toys does not teach him anything than to be resentful of his brother for messing up his things. Plus, this won’t get any better, unless I teach him how to handle it. He needed tools not time out.
I am his first TEACHER, it is my job to teach…to guide…to show the way.
I want to also make this clear. I do use consequences, if needed. Sometimes a consequence is my first step, but sometimes teaching has to come first. It all depends on the situation.