I could write thousands of posts on mom guilt. Thousands.
Mainly because I hear from so many Mamas out there who are dealing with heart crushing guilt about their parenting or not feeling like they are enough.
Antonioguillem @ Dollar Photo Club
Recently, I had someone email me and ask how they can get rid of mom guilt all together.
I laughed, not because of the question itself, but because I struggle with Mom guilt every single day and I’d love to be done with it.
Right now, I’m feeling pretty good about my parenting and we are on a great path. But, I have other types of guilt. Guilt about not being able to balance my family life with my blog. Guilt about not doing enough for my son’s preschool class. Guilt about not being a good enough wife. Guilt about having someone else watch my kids so I can take a breather now and again.
No matter what we do, it seems like guilt is just part of a Mama’s life.
But, there are a couple of things we can do to prevent it from taking over a Mama’s life.
Focus on the Good
When you’re feeling really bad about your parenting or the choices you have to make for your kids, remind yourself of all the good you are doing. Focus on the good instead of the bad. Remember that you are a Good Mom!
Be kind to yourself
One of the things that has helped me a lot is just knowing that I’m human, I make mistakes, and I can’t do it all. As mothers, we have such high expectations for ourselves and we feel guilty because we can’t do everything we’d like to do. It’s important to remember to be kind to ourselves, we’re only human after all.
Talk about it
Find a good friend or family member and talk about the Mom guilt. Unfortunately, many parents in our society don’t feel comfortable talking about the bad parts of parenthood. We are supposed to show only the awesome Pinterest worthy stuff and ignore the hard stuff. But the truth is that parenting is hard, and I bet that if you open up to another parent who you love and loves you that she’ll say “oh, me too!”. There is so much healing in those words.
What do other’s say?
I asked my wonderful Facebook community to give me some of their tips for dealing with Mom guilt. They came up with some great ideas!
So, can we ever get rid of Mom Guilt once and for all? Um, probably not. But by focusing on the good, having appropriate expectations, and talking about it we can help deal with some of that guilt.
Sadly, I have daily internal battles with guilt. I’m working on it though. Talking about it with a friend is probably the biggest help in the world for me. My friends are so encouraging and help me breathe a sigh of relief. Last week I made a big mistake and bit my son back after he had been biting me for days and days. I still really feel bad about that. I messed up as a mom, you know? But I’m trying to be better, and having support from other moms has been really helpful. I would love to be done with mom guilt. Staying positive!
Yes, having a friend to talk it over with can really help. Remember, there are no perfect Moms out there…we all make mistakes.
I think another contributing factor to mom guilt is comparing ourselves to other moms. We have to stop looking around and thinking that the mom who is maybe more creative or more active is a better mom and that we aren’t good enough. We can only be the best we can be.
YES! Thank you! That is an excellent point. Comparing really does lead to a lot of guilt.
We all struggle with mom guilt, and I have identified it as one of the most common negative emotions mothers face. Talking about the challenges of parenthood and having someone you feel safe to express your negative feelings about parenting to is one of the best tips! I had a friend confess that she didn’t like being a parent- and she felt that way in the moment. Once she said it out loud she realized she didn’t mean it. But being safe enough to vent was key.