Last Friday I started the Stop Yelling Challenge. I decided that I would not yell at my children for an entire year, work on my attitude and the way I handled conflict in my family.
I knew I needed to find a way to hold myself accountable and get support when things get hard. So, I invited anyone who wanted to stop yelling to join a facebook group so we can all support one another.
I expected that a few people might join, but I didn’t have high hopes.
By the end of the day, the group had 100 members.
By the end of the week, we’re over 550 people strong.
I was…and still am…shocked.
Honestly, I knew people yelled at their kids, but some days it feels like I’m the only Mom out there who can’t always get her emotions in check for her children.
Sometimes it feels like it’s just me.
I don’t like to talk about my insecurities, my frustration, my loneliness, and certainly not my anger. So, I build walls around those feelings. I hide them away and put on a happy, “I’ve got this” face.
Then on Friday, those walls started to crack a bit. As each new person joined the group and told their story, pieces my walls started to shatter. Actually, walls all around the globe started breaking down.
People in the group were saying things like:
“I have to say I am so happy to have found this group. It is such a huge relief to see the things that happen in our home happen in everyone’s home.”
Suddenly, we are all there…no walls…we are all exposing our truth….we all yell.
We are not alone.
And that, my friends, is so comforting.
Throughout the week, the cobwebs of my Mom Funk have started to shed and I’m seeing the beauty of the world around me again. My attitude has changed and I’m happy.
You know what? Not being alone in my struggles anymore really helps.
I’ve had a few rough spots throughout the week, and moments where I wasn’t sure if I could keep my cool, but I did.
Having the support of the group lifted me up and reminded me that my kids deserve better, so I must be better.
One week down….51 to go!
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Want to join the group? We’d love to have you!
Click here!
Want to stop yelling for good? Join the hundreds of parents who’ve taken steps to stop yelling, by joining Mama’s Anger Management eCourse.
It can change your family!
Thank you SO MUCH for starting that group! I have often felt like I must be the worst mom in the world because I yell at my kids, and while it isn’t good, I feel better (and quieter!) just knowing I am not alone! I have gotten some great advice and more support than I could have imagined! 🙂
You’re welcome Jodie! I absolutely love it and am so impressed with the amount of support I’ve seen. So glad you’re there!
This is why we have the internet – because it allows us to voice our worst fears and then realise that actually we are not alone. These past couple of weeks I have yelled at my 14 month old daughter a couple of times and felt like I must be the worst mother in the whole world – to have such precious babies and then to be mad and yelling when they are too little to understand. It is good to know I’m not alone.
Good for you, Mama! I think deep down we all struggle with the same things – good for you for being honest about it. 🙂
I just saw this on pinterest and joined your group. Thank you for being courageous and opening up. I don’t know if I could be so brave! Two and a half weeks ago I committed myself to stop yelling. The first week was difficult, but I instantly saw beautiful changes occur with my kids. But I find it is getting harder and harder! One possibility is my husband has been out of town for two weeks now and I haven’t had a break at all, which is driving me bonkers. I have had a few slip ups, but overall I’m doing well. I have had to lock myself in the bathroom a couple of times to give myself a little break/escape and not yell. My kids have been testing me and I’ve explained to them how much I don’t want to yell any more. I feel like they are learning to respect that. It is such a journey and I’m glad I’m not alone.
I just stumbled upon this the day after I blow up on my kids and husband. I always feel so awful when I act like this. I was raised with my mom yelling about everything and I never wanted to be like that. And guess what I am and I hate it. Thank you for this.
Oh my gosh! I pinned a couple of Amanda’s things but never noticed the website, I too am a yeller, it has grievously affected all 5 of my children, 3 of which are grown into 30, 26 & 23 year olds. 2 of those won’t even talk to me anymore. My 2 youngest ones are affected the most. They sadly quit saying “why are you yelling?” I have prayed till my pray-er is broke asking God to help me quit yelling at them, I do know that domestic violence and a truly traumatizing life is to blame, but its not fair to my kids that I’m doing that to them
Loving this series. The honesty and openness is refreshing and helps me so much.
I was in a serious parenting funk last year – extremely short fuse, impatient all the time…I kept wondering why I had turned into such a bad parent! Then I made an appt to have my hormones tested – turns out burning the candle at both ends had fatigued my adrenals and gotten some hormones out of whack. (Study up on your adrenals – they’re amazing! Without cortisol we would die within a week. See the direct correlation of sleep deprivation = lack of cortisol buildup to handle stress, so our body uses progesterone to make more cortisol = hormone imbalance that can affect every area of your life.)
Just wanted to encourage readers that there might be times where it’s not *you*. It might be something physiologically going on with your body! For me that was a huge relief, and tension, anxiety and frustration have decreased as things have gotten back into balance. That means better days with my kiddos all around!
I also didn’t take any vitamins or supplements, thinking I had a healthy diet. Well, when you’re under stress your body needs some extra support. Vit C, D and the B’s are all crucial, and I highly recommend Dr Wilson’s site and supplements – they have given me my life back.
Take care of yourselves, Mommas! Don’t learn the hard way like I did.
Thank you Thank you Thank you for starting this group…. I have tried litterally everything in my power to change my habits my husband and me before we got married had left me cause my yelling was so bad i was raised that way my parents all they ever did was yell at me and my sister and thats all i do …..I feel like i am the most horrible parent in the world i hate my self when i do it i practically cry myself to sleep my husband had asked me what do i do all week that the laundry isn’t done or the house isn’t cleaned and i tell him i wait till the weekend because if i have the laundry done for the kids to put away when they come home from school they get mad at me and then i start yelling I am afraid of having my kids do anything in fear they will give me an attitude and i get mad because of that….. I want to start this challenge right away i want to be a better mom