Inside:  If clutter makes you angry, and kids leaving all the stuff around the house makes you rage, read how one basket can contain the clutter and teach your family how to pick up after themselves. This post contains affiliate links.

It’s almost dinnertime and my boys and I clamber in through the back door.  We kick off our shoes, I shoo them downstairs to play so I can make dinner.

I turn the corner into our kitchen and I instantly feel overwhelmed.

My kitchen is a disaster.

The counters are covered.

Covered with legos, books, phone chargers, school work, and notices about upcoming events that haven’t made it into my calendar yet.

How am I supposed to cook when there’s no empty space on my counters?

Here’s a pick for proof of how bad it can be.  Don’t judge me, m’kay?

This seems to happen every day around here, and the busier we are, the worse the clutter gets.

I could easily blame my husband and kids, but I totally contribute to this mess, especially when I’m super busy.  I drop stuff on the counter then rush off to the next thing.

So no…it’s not just my husband and kids who are leaving stuff around.  We all contribute to the mess.

But, I’m the only one who seems to notice, so it’s usually up to me to gather everything up and clean off the counters.

It’s beyond frustrating.

I love an organized home, but I can’t seem to find a good system for my kitchen.

Control Clutter With The Clutter Basket

Then last month at our MOPS meeting, a professional organizer came to talk with us and share some of her tips.

Mid-speech, she pulls out a basket and tells us about this one basket changed her life.

My jaw dropped.  This was it.  This was what I’ve been looking for!

I ran home and grabbed a basket and put all the forgotten toys, paper, phone chargers, books, and all the other random things inside.

And ta-da!  My kitchen was clean.

After dinner, I pulled out the basket and explained its purpose to my family.

Everything left out will go in this box and after dinner, we’ll divvy it all up and we’ll put away everything. If it’s yours, you put it away.

I will no longer be the one in charge of the clutter.  I will no longer be the one walking through the entire house putting away all the things.

Check out these super cute baskets!

Whitmor Rattique Storage Baskets Set of 3 JavaStorage Baskets Large Terracotta Woven Basket, 15Deco 79 Large Seagrass Basket

The Clutter Basket Keeps Me From Nagging and Yelling.

I understand how things get left out because I’m part of the problem too.

The problem is that the clutter bothers me the most, so I’m the one either nagging everyone to put away their things, or just doing it myself.

I’m tired of nagging.

I mean, no one wants to stop what they’re doing to pick up, not even me. I understand.

That’s why the clutter basket is amazing.

It’s emptied at the same time every day, which means there’s time built into our day just for putting away all the random stuff.

There is no nagging, yelling, or reminding.  It’s just what’s done after dinner.

If after dinner doesn’t work for you, find a time in your day when it does work.

Build it into your morning routine, or bedtime routine.  Pick a time when your whole family is home and can spend a maximum of 15 minutes putting things away.

I love the clutter basket mainly because, since the surfaces of our house are cleaner, I no longer end up frustrated by all the mess.

I’m no longer feeling resentful and nagging.

This Mama’s a lot happier now.

It Teaches Teamwork and Responsibility.

My family is a team, and this is one chore we get to do together as a team.

The clutter basket helps each of us take responsibility for our things, and it teaches our children that everyone needs to be responsible for their own things…even Mom and Dad.

And, it’s not just me putting things in the basket.

My kids enjoy putting things into it too, especially if the object belongs to my husband or me.  Apparently, it’s fun to make Mom and Dad pick up after themselves.

I’ll also ask kids to put things into the basket throughout the day and will even give them a choice, they can put their toy into the basket to put away later, or go ahead and put it away now.

They have the power to chose when they put away their things, but because of the clutter basket, they will still be the one responsible for doing it.

The Clutter Basket Works.

It’s been about a month since I’ve started using the clutter basket and it’s been life changing.

Seriously.

My house is tidy which makes me less ragy.

My family is taking responsibility for their things.

And I have more time in my day since I’m not constantly cleaning my kitchen counters.

It’s amazing to know that the next time I’m rushing to get home to make dinner, that my clean kitchen counters will be ready for me.

No more cleaning before I cook for me!

Check out these amazing clutter-free books. Clutter Free With Kids is my favorite!

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and OrganizingClutterfree with Kids: Change your thinking. Discover new habits. Free your homeReal Life Organizing: Clean and Clutter-Free in 15 Minutes a Day

Standing at the bottom of our staircase, I see three different pairs of kid socks strewn across the steps covering lost LEGO pieces and small minifigs.

I ask myself silently, “Why can’t they ever clean up after themselves?”

The dryer beeps.  Yet another load of clean laundry waits for me to fold it.

Sigh, “I need to get that folded so the boys have clothes for tomorrow or we’ll be scrambling in the morning, again.”

My phone dings.  It’s an email from a student who needs my help with something.  “That’s important, I have to get to my computer soon.”

But, it’s dinner time.  If I wait too long to make it, we all end up hangry (angry because we’re hungry) so that must come first.

Ugh!  There’s so much to do!! [Read more…]

It’s midnight. You’re still awake because your mind is racing with worry.

What if Sam doesn’t make the baseball team?

When will Sophie stop wetting the bed? Maybe something’s wrong.

Is Mike mad at me? He’s been quiet lately.

Am I becoming an angry mom?

It’s not much better during the day. Your worries consume you:

• You pick out your kids’ clothes so they look nice and won’t be teased.
• You check homework and grades online to make sure your kids are on track for college.
• You avoid play dates that involve certain playground equipment because it’s too dangerous.

Being cautious is a good thing; caring about your kids is what parents do. The problem comes when the worry begins to negatively affect your parenting. Your marriage. Your friendships.

When worry becomes too much.

If you feel overwhelmed by worries, it may feel like there is no way out.

But there is…

Control Only What You Can Control:

Anxiety often convinces us that we have more power over our circumstances than we really do.

Unfortunately, there are very few things that we can actually control: our own actions, reactions, and choices. For example, we can decide what we serve for dinner, but we can’t force anyone else to eat it.

• Tip: Take a piece of paper and make a line down the middle. On one side write the things that you can truly control in your life. On the other side, write the things that you cannot control. At first, this may make you feel more anxious! That’s ok.  Next time you feel an anxious thought creep up, imagine which side of the line it is on. If you can do something about it, great! If not, it’s best to let it go.

Learn to Calm Your Thoughts:

Feeling in control of out-of-control thoughts is a skill that takes time and practice.

Don’t feel bad if your worried thoughts continue to fill your mind. Pushing them aside will get easier with time.

Continue working on finding new strategies to combat anxiety until you find a few that work.

• Tip: Make a list of things that you can do to calm yourself in an anxious moment. It is easier to think of things when you are calm, and then refer to the list later. Many people use mantras (“I am calm” or “I am peaceful”), prayer, journaling, art, Try music, getting outside or calling a friend.

Read here about how our thoughts control our emotions and actions.

Rate Your Fear:

Worries are often exaggerated and misrepresented in our minds.

It’s helpful to put our fears into perspective.

How much of a problem is it, on a scale of 1 (no big deal) to 10 (call 911!!)? Where would other people place it on the scale? Do I have any facts to back up my worry? Who else is worried about this?

• Tip: Find a worry that is bothering you right now and pick a number from the scale (1 – 10). Then, think about your worry again from someone else’s perspective. Is the number different? What would help you move your worry down the scale?

Speak It Out Loud:

Fears love hiding away in the dark corners of our mind. Take away their power by saying your fear or worry out loud!

Sometimes, hearing it makes us realize how unrealistic it really is: “I’m worried that if I don’t remind you to wash your hands, you’ll get sick, then I’ll have to miss work to stay home with you, and I’m really busy at work right now…”

• Tip: Not every fear is appropriate for children to hear. We don’t want to burden our kids with adult problems or thoughts. It’s ok to say something general: “Mommy’s worries are really big right now. I’m going to take a few deep breaths to calm down.”

Give Your Kids A Job:

If a lot of your worries focus on your children’s ability to complete a task or follow direction, it’s time to do some teaching and shift the responsibility to your kids.

Instead of worrying about how they will do, equip them to do it well! This might mean creating a visual chart so your son remembers everything for school or practicing what to do if they are bullied.

• Tip: Make a list of the things you worry about for your children. Then, write any skills they need to learn or practice. Find an age appropriate way to start to teach your child the skills. This will help you both feel more confident!

Get Professional Help:

Sometimes, worries are just too big to handle on our own. If you are concerned about the way that worry is impacting your children, your marriage or your job, it’s time to get outside support.

There is no shame in seeking help from a mental health professional. It does not mean that you are a horrible person or have some terrible character flaw.

Rather, it means you care enough about yourself and your family to get the support you need to be the parent and person you want to be!

• Tip: It’s ok to ask a lot of questions before you start seeing a therapist. You want to make sure it is someone you feel comfortable talking to and that they are qualified to help. However, make sure the search for a “perfect” therapist doesn’t keep you from getting the help you need!

Next time you’re laying awake at night or feel like the worries are snowballing in your mind, pick one of these tips to try. You may find that one works better than another or that you need a combination of them all!

Sometimes it’s hard to remember these tips when you really need them.  So I’ve put them all together in one place.  Just click here to download your copy of “How to Parent When You Worry Too Much.”

Get your copy

Nicole Schwarz is a mom to 3 little girls, a Licensed Therapist, and Parent Coach. Check out her blog, Imperfect Families for more positive parenting tips and learn more about how Parent Coaching can help you find solutions to your parenting challenges.