Inside: Read what it’s really like to breastfeed a newborn and get tips and insights to make breastfeeding more successful and enjoyable.  This post was written by me on behalf of 1 Natural Way, a TRICARE breast pump provider.  All opinions are entirely my own

I sit, boppy wrapped around my waist, shirt down, ready to feed my baby.

I have to mentally prepare myself because I know it will hurt.  They tell me it’s not supposed to hurt, but it HURTS.

One…inhale….two….exhale…three…latch.

Pins and needles stab my entire chest.  This isn’t right.  Tears roll down my cheeks.  This can’t be right.

My feet kick as my little babe nurses peacefully, while I sit here holding my breath, gritting my teeth and praying that I can find someone to help me.

Three weeks, three doctors appointments and one amazing lactation consultant later and my thrush was finally believed and treated properly.

It was a rough first month of motherhood, mainly because breastfeeding was so hard.

Breastfeeding is something I was committed to doing, but it wasn’t 100% natural to me.

Through blood, sweat, and lots of tears, my baby and I figured it out.

Looking back, those first hard weeks were hard but worth it.  I ended up enjoying it so much that I didn’t hesitate about nursing his younger brother when he was born.

Before my son’s arrival, I had spent hours learning all about breastfeeding.  I attended classes, got all the best gear, and googled all the things.  That knowledge helped me get through some of the hardest parts of breastfeeding.

But, in spite of all the knowledge I had, there are a few more things that I wish someone had told me before I started breastfeeding.

1. Breastfeeding Takes Practice (and lots of it)

My naive-before -baby-self, thought that breastfeeding would be easy.  I mean it’s the most natural thing in the world!  You put your baby on your breast and it eats.  Simple.

Like most of my pre-baby thoughts, I was wrong.

Breastfeeding is something that doesn’t come naturally to every mom or to every baby.  It a skill that takes practice.

I had to learn how to hold my baby in the right position and get a good latch, and my baby had to learn to latch well too.

My first baby really struggled with getting a good latch, and I had the cracks to prove it!

Speaking of latching, always aim for a good one.  Always.

It’s easy to let a bad latch happen, especially when your baby is crying and hungry.  But trust me here, you’ll pay for that bad latch later.

2. You’ll Worry

Just being a new mom raises your level of anxiety a lot.  It’s nervewracking to take care of a helpless little baby.

But when you’re nursing, it’s hard to know if you’re producing enough milk, if the latch is right, or if your baby is eating enough.  Unlike bottle feeding, you can’t measure to see how much your baby is eating.

Add all that worry to crazy out of control post-baby hormones and it’s not uncommon for a new mom to become an emotional wreck.

But, there’s someone who can help…the mighty Lactation Consultant!

Lactation Consultants are usually easy to find (they’re in most hospitals) and their services are usually free.

A good LC will help you learn how to get a good latch, how to know if your baby is eating enough, and can answer all of those questions you have swirling around in your head.

3. Breastfeeding Takes A Lot of Time

New babies nurse at least every 3 hours around the clock and it can take them an hour at each nursing session to eat.  So that means you’ll get a maximum of a 2 hour-ish break between sessions.

It’s a huge time commitment.  You’ll be nursing about 8 hours a day.

That’s a lot of time sitting down and feeding a baby, and it’s not a job you can pass onto anyone else (at least not at first).

I remember running out to the craft store and getting stuck in the checkout line for what felt like an eternity.  My breasts started to swell and I worried the worry about my baby being hungry without me, made me abandon my purchases in line and I hightailed it out of there asap.

After a few weeks my milk supply leveled off and my son’s feeding times became routine, so I was able to get a little more freedom.  It gets more predictable and babies learn how to eat faster, so it gets better, I promise!

But before then, you’ll need someone who can help take care of you while you’re spending so much time nursing.

Breastfeeding burns a ton of calories and you’ll be hungry all.the.time.

The best thing anyone can do for a breastfeeding mom is to make sure there are snacks and water nearby.

And then they can hop over to the laundry and fold that too.

Seriously, having a good support person is imperative at the beginning, because you just won’t have the time to do everything that needs to be done.

4.  Get A Breast Pump

Even if you think you’ll exclusively breastfeed, get a breast pump.  It can be your best friend.

Not only will it allow for other people to feed your baby and to give you a little bit of freedom, it can also help with a few potential breastfeeding problems that can pop up.

Some Moms might struggle with producing enough milk, a brestpump can help with that.

Some Moms get so engorged that it’s hard for their baby to latch, a breastpump can help with that.

Some babies struggle with latching due to tongue-tie, a brestpump can help you supplement.

And sometimes unexpected things pop up and you’ll need a pump.

My youngest son caught RSV at a very young age and had to be hospitalized, and my breast pump helped me keep my milk supply up while he wasn’t eating as much as he should.

The problem is that Breastpumps can be expensive.

I wish someone had told me that my insurance would have covered my pump 100%.

I wish I had known about 1 Natural Way.  This company will not only contact your insurance provider for you but also your Dr. to get the prescription.  All you have to do is fill out their online form and they’ll take care of the rest.  It’s so simple and takes less than 5 minutes.

All breast pump models are covered by my insurance provider, Tricare, at no out of pocket expense. This includes the Medela Freestyle and the Spectra S1 Breast Pump, and the Medela Pump in Style Tote/Backpack.

Dude…I paid full price for my Medela Pump in Style Backpack!  Ugh.

1 Natural Way provides works with many insurance companies, just click on the link that says “Qualify Through Insurance” on their website here to apply.

In addition to breast pumps, 1 Natural Way also offers breast pump accessories, compression socks, and postpartum care supplies.

Get yourself a breast pump, you’re going to need it!!

5. It Gets Easier

Yes, breastfeeding is messy, hard, and time-consuming, but eventually, you and your baby get the hang of it and it gets so much easier.

You both learn how to get a good latch, sore nipples heal, and the pain goes away.

Your baby becomes a faster eater and won’t have to eat as frequently, so you’ll be spending less time sitting and nursing.

You never have to worry about packing enough bottles or being out too long because as long as your baby is with you, they can eat.

And if you need or want to have time away from your baby, use that Insurance Breast Pump and make a bottle.

But if something does happen, like my fight with thrush, it can be helped.  If you ever feel pain, don’t hesitate to call your Lactation Consultant.   Mine was a lifesaver!

I HATE YOU!!!

Your child stands across from you, staring at you with big, round, angry eyes.  Red in the face, teeth clenched, and hands in fists, your screaming child is overcome with anger.

You stand there, shocked.

Oh-my-gosh…what do I do?  

You might even feel scared, intimidated, and unsure of what to do next.

Or maybe you go deep into anger yourself.

How DARE my child yell at me like that?

Anger is a scary and uncomfortable emotion.  No one wants their children to be angry, and they certainly don’t want disrespect and defiance that can come with the anger.

Why can’t everyone just be happy?! Ugh…

This post contains affiliate links.

What do you do when your child is angry?

When our children get upset and angry they aren’t functioning in their thinking part of their brain, they are in their primitive emotional brain.  They’re literally so overwhelmed with emotions that they can’t think straight.

The same applies to you.  You can’t address the situation well when you’re brain is flooded with emotions.

I know you hate being yelled at by your child, especially in public, but it’s important that everyone stays calm.  And that begins with you…

Stay calm 

Anger builds on anger.

If your child is angry and you respond to that anger with more anger, then your child’s anger elevates, which elevates your anger, and then you’re in a vicious angry cycle.

Did you get that?  Basically, responding with anger causes more anger.

It’s your job, as the parent to be the calming force to de-escalate the situation.

Take a few cleansing breaths, remind yourself that this isn’t an emergency, or walk away for a few moments until you can address the situation calmly.

My 50 Calm Down Cards and The Stop Yelling Handbook can help with this.

50 Calm Down Cards For Parents – Staying Calm Among The Chaos of Raising KidsThe Stop Yelling Handbook – 17 Printable Pages to Help you Control Your Temper

Then, take steps to help your child.

Whatever you do, do not discipline or punish if you’re angry, it will just make it worse.  It’s okay to walk away for a bit and come back when you’re calm and ready.

Look at what’s really going on

Instead of focusing on the behavior of your child, take a deeper look and ask yourself a few questions:

• Why did my child just blow up?
• What does my child feel right now, and why?
• Were they caught off guard?
• Do they feel powerless?
• Are they hungry or tired?

Take a few minutes and look at what’s going on behind the behavior.

Then, once they are calm you can help them meet their needs.

Helping Your Upset Child Find Calm

“Never in the history of calming down did someone calm down by being told to calm down.” – Unknown

When your child is upset, they can’t listen to logic, and telling them to calm down won’t work….ever.

So, what do you do?

Reflect Feelings

Help your child calm down by letting them know that you get it, you understand why they’re upset.  The best way to do this is called reflecting feelings.

It’s simple.

Just tell your child that see how they are feeling.

• Wow! You are so mad right now.
• I know you’re really upset with me.
• You really weren’t happy with that decision.

This does not mean that you agree with their feelings or their behaviors, but that you understand they’re upset and you’re willing to listen.

When people are feeling big emotions, we’re not looking for people to fix it, we just need someone to understand our feelings.

There’s nothing more healing than having someone tell you “I get it.”

Put aside your child’s behavior for a second, and see your child as hurting.

Meet them in the emotional place they’re already in and help them get calm.

This tip is explained in detail in the book “The Whole Brain Child.”  <—It’s a MUST READ for any parent.

The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind

Wait

Give your child space to feel their feelings and they’ll be able to calm down on their own…eventually.

This is NOT the time to get angry and argue logically with your child.

Say to your child.  

• I can see you’re angry, I’ll wait until you’re calm.
• I know you’re mad, but I’m ready to talk to you when you’re calmer.

Eventually, your child will calm down.

But…what if you’re child wants help to calm down?

Try A Hug

There are two different types of people in this world.  Some people love to be comforted and hugged when they’re angry, and some don’t.

If you’re child likes being hugged and snuggled, ask if they’d like a hug to help them calm down.

Do not try this if your child doesn’t like physical touch or does not agree to a hug.

But for the kids who do like the snuggles, you’ll find that a tight hug can do wonders to calm down an angry child.

Blow it out

I’ll never forget the day that my friend came over with her 2.5-year-old daughter.

Something had upset her daughter, and my friend got down face to face with her and asked her to take a deep breath and blow out really hard.

She and her daughter took several deep breaths together and her daughter’s crying stopped and she was able to calm down fairly quickly.

It was magical.

I know that deep breaths work, but it was so cool to see this mama do it so expertly with her child.

So try…

• deep breathing together, face to face, with your child.
• having your child pretend to blow out a balloon, or
• pretend to blow out a candle.

It works…

Amanda, the blowing out the candle approach WORKED!!!! My son was in one of his typical hysterical crying fits yesterday when I remembered to reach for one of our play candles. Right in the middle of it, I said, “Quick! Help me blow out the candle. Ready, set, blow.” He started blowing really hard instantly! My husband and I were speechless. It calmed him down enough to the point I could gently and lovingly cup his face with my hands to speak softly to him and actually reach him! – Gabrielle (Mama’s Anger Managment Student)

Teach After the Anger

Often times, kids don’t have the tools they need to handle their big emotions in a respectful way.  That is a big skill that takes time to learn.

This is a great teaching moment. 

After both you and your child are calm and able to think without all the emotions, it’s time to come back and address the situation again.

Start out by doing a small recap of the situation.

•  I saw that you were really upset about ____.
• Wow, we both got pretty mad earlier.
• You really weren’t happy about the decision I made about _____.

This way, they get that you understand what happened, and you’re willing to talk about it in a respectful way.

Then work with your child to problem solve.

• What do you think we can do next time so this doesn’t happen again?
• I know you were angry, but instead of yelling at me, can you say “Mom, I really don’t like that?”
• It hurts my feelings and makes me angry when you roll your eyes at me.  Can you do _______instead?

This is the time to teach the correct way to handle their frustration and anger.

Anger happens to everyone, so it’s important to be ready for the next time your child stares at you with those big angry eyes.

Remeber to stay calm, reflect emotions, and wait to discipline until AFTER everyone is calm.